Monday 30 December 2013

My adventure










Hiding under the kitchen sink
I came across a sight
A greeny coloured fellow
Only one inch tall in height

I asked him in an astounded tone
`What are you doing here?`
He answered in a booming voice
`THIS IS MY HOME MY DEAR.`

Shocked and confused by his reply
This tiny little thing
Sent soundwaves through my very soul
And made my eardrums ring

Recovering from the mighty sound
I shook my head to clear
And once again I questioned him
`Why was he living here`?

`MY DEAREST BOY` he boomed again
`THIS IS MY FAMILY HOME`
`MY UNCLE’S, AUNTS AND GRANDFATHER’S
HAVE ALL SAT ON THIS THRONE`

Pointing to a little chair
A  box of balsa wood
He jumped upon his regal seat
And shouted loud and good

`I AM THE RULER OF THIS LAND`
`I AM THE PRINCE AND AIRE`
`I AM THE LAST OF THE CULDESACKS`
`OF THAT YOU MUST BEWARE`

A little sad by his response
But hiding all my fright
I asked the tiny ruler
If what he said was right

`OF COURSE I MEANT JUST WHAT I SAID`
replied the little thing
`But why so rude and why so loud?`
I asked the tiny King

`LOOK LETS PRETEND I NEVER SAID`
`THOSE WORDS WHICH SHOOK YOU GOOD`
I nodded my head and did concur
his words were misunderstood.

Still a tad confused
By the little one’s reply
I turned my head to face him
And looked him in the eye

`You really need to understand`
`That shouting‘s really rude`
And if you really are the king
You should change your foul mood

`I’LL  DECIDE` was his retort
`HOW DARE YOU QUESTION ME`
`I AM THE KING AS I SAID BEFORE`
`PLEASE REMEMBER THE COMPANY`

A little bored by this shouting match
I sighed a little sigh
I pulled my head back from the sink
Then waved the chap goodbye

`GOODBYE MY FRIEND, MY ELDEST CHUM`
He bawled at my retreat
`PLEASE COME AGAIN INTO MY RELM`

`AND NEXT TIME TAKE A SEAT`.

Sunday 15 December 2013

Compared to...






...the squatting turkey waiting for the knife.


The angry holly clashes; the pleading peal,


Of bells swinging Christ back on a horny heel


To clutch his cross like a desired wife.

And now, pinned there, he flutters till they come,

The gross men and the women they are with,

Who kneel and take his soft flesh in their teeth,

And, chewing the holy cud, flock slowly home.

There as the golden children gather by,

Hung with chill bells, the harsh tree is displayed:

A delicate fear wets each child’s eye

While the gross father, with the whiskey flush

Deepening in his cheeks, prepares the blade

To pare off from the bone the warm white flesh


Easter brings relief




Merry Christmas readers!

Thursday 12 December 2013

The Christmas tree


The Christmas tree


Abducted from mother earth

In the mist of our prime

Market forces will dictate

Cut, netted, and with a dispatch date

Alien territory the destination

Dry atmosphere awaits

Natural beauty eroded

When the dehydrated needles carpet the floor

Revealing our vulnerability once more

Deprived of sunlight and hydration

-

Serial imposters cooped up in its cardboard coffin

Take the alternative route

Emerging from the dusty loft

Instructions awry, allows free rein

Puzzle pieces come together

No inbuilt character defect or imperfections

To conquer, same old story year on year

Timeless unlike an avocado bath

All manufactured to stand the test of time

The Only criminal in the box the space age fibre optic option!


Tiny hands eager with joy and excitement

Accompany the master magician

To make good the glorious visitor for the 25th

To be standing noble and proud

-

Flashing sparkles baubles abound spare

Our vulnerability and cover our nakedness

 Tradition unfolds who sits on the throne

The star or the angel

Others hide in the shadows –simple and plain décor

The picture frame view

Admired by many are not privy to the secrets we keep

They must attend their own private viewing

We keep imagination in tact

Until the ungodly hour dawns

On Christmas morning

Will the festive miser pull the plug?

Before the 6th night

So, disappearing like space ship

 Return to earth or the dark void of the loft?

The final destination

Tuesday 3 December 2013


The Gift


Scratching his head, old uncle Will wondered.......

Relaxing in his big old wingback chair, fire glowing cosily, in the Study of his big old house on Cedar Hill. All within the town of Benedict, on the North, Eastern coast of America.


..........Wondered......what he would get his nephews this year for Christmas.


He didn't see them much these days........., in fact,........ hardly at all. They weren't young kids now, Dwight, the older, was around 12 and young Drew was around 9.


"Still young boys really but old enough to work in old money," Will thought.

In his day maybe.....

Will lived alone.......well, except for old Pepe, his beloved Poodle, who was around 14 years old now.

After a small breakfast of pancakes, he left Cedar Hill to wander into town to seek out a gift, with old Pepe in tow. The pace would be slow......


It was the only gift he would buy at Christmas,......., in fact,.........all year. It was important to him as his nephews held a very special place in his heart. They were the only children in the family and would surely inherit all that was Wills. A lovely, big old house, riddled with character, maybe a bit run down and.....well,.....sod all else.

"That was enough," Will always thought.

But the gift had to be special, maybe a bit unique, truly magical........


It was late morning as he plodded down Lower Cedar towards the centre of Benedict. It was mild and sunny although fresh snow blanketed all that was visible.

Will was a pleasant being with a heart of gold. He'd worked hard all of his long life and was now deep into his twilight years. He was enjoying every minute of it, at last having time for himself, maybe too much sometimes.

Just approaching early afternoon, Will arrived in town, with Pepe still looking spritely. For an older dog, he could walk all day and often did.

Finally.....he was ready to shop. He wasn't much use at it, after all it was woman's work really. And he seriously lacked practice but anyway......he had to, so off he went, in and out of premises, gazing through windows, asking shopkeeper advice, the works!! The hours went by, his feet grew sore, even Pepe was tiring!!

He'd exhausted everything and all he'd seen were, train sets, forts, sports games, skateboards, etc, etc, etc.
These were the gifts any kid could have and Will didn't want that.

Almost ready to throw in the towel and return to Cedar hill, he glanced across to Watson Street.

"There, over there" he breathed......

"The Old Curiosity Shop!!!"

The last stop saloon as far as he was concerned but why hadn't he thought of it before. It was surely the only place in town he would hope to find something different.

As he trudged across the street, a little, just a little, more urgency in his step. He gazed towards the window. It was filthy, with the road spray and weather. Will eagerly peered inside, wiping with his hand as his eyes searched............and there, propped up in a corner, was all he'd hoped for.......

"The Gift"

------------------------------------------------------------------

Yes it would be the perfect gift for the boys.

The shop door ‘tinkled’ musically as he entered. It was a reassuring sound after all the automatic plate glass doors with their security alarms buzzing rudely at confused customers. The shop's dim interior  had a quiet air of antiquity; there were no spot lights or horrible flickering neon tubes here, no chrome, no garish displays or vulgar merchandising sales.

Instead goods were crammed into every available space, in an ordered chaos that took time to appreciate. Wooden toys of every shape and size dominated one corner. At the back area novelty mechanical contraptions ‘lived’, animatronic action figures of a bygone era. Everywhere he looked will saw toys that appealed to his sense of nostalgia, old toys that summoned ghostly friends from his own long-gone childhood. But he was not to be swayed; what he was after was tucked in the corner. And it seemed to be calling him; whispering ‘choose me, choose me’

Pepe scampered forward, snuffling as if he had scented something of canine interest. Will watched as Pepe’s head dropped to an object on the wooden floor. The familiar sounds of lapping told him that Pepe had found a dog boll filled with water. Thank goodness, they were both a bit dehydrated after trudging from shop to shop.  These days most shops didn’t even allow dogs past their doors, and they certainly didn’t cater to them with water.  Will felt a bit thirsty himself.  

“Good boy” he murmured and smiled down at Pepe. This was his kind of shop.

The shop seemed to be  deserted; where was the shop assistant hiding? He saw that there was a ‘bell’ by the rather ornate cash register.  This was in character with the rest of the shop – in fact there were no jarring notes, nothing seemed incongruous at all, anywhere, which impressed Will. He wondered about the staff; would they be suitably attired? He looked around hopefully. But there was no one in sight. He didn't like to ring the service bell but his finger was poised, ready to strike. ‘Nothing else for it,’ he thought, ‘I’ll just have to-’. But just then:


“Thank you for being patient” the voice was behind him.

“Oh!” he turned – no one was there!

“Hello?” He said.

“Good boy! Good boy! What’s his name? I'm over here”

The voice had moved; Will saw that the speaker was kneeling down and rubbing Pepe behind his ears. And Pepe was letting him.

“It’s Pepe” said Will – and added “you’re privileged…Pepe doesn’t usually like strangers”

“Ah, but I’m no stranger” this sounded rather cryptic to Will.

Abruptly the sales person sprang to his feet with his hand out stretched.

“Merry Christmas, I’m Morgan, how can I help?”

Will responded to his enthusiastic handshake, all the while appraising the fellow’s oddly antiquated clothing. He had been right about that. Morgan’s attire was like a costume. But in truth, it was Will who felt out of place in his jeans and his old water proof Burberry. This fellow seemed right at home in his well-worn brown velvet suit, complete with waistcoat and a glint of silver chain that had to be a fob watch. But the hat! – That was going too far; it made him look like the mad hatter from Alice in wonderland. And the expectant steady gaze added to the impression. With an effort, Will gathered his thoughts.

“I’m interested in –“

“Ah yes, the magic set!”

“Yes, that’s right - but how did you know?”

“That’s why I’m wearing this hat. It’s the original, you know. I heard it too, calling you…”

Will had difficulty in following this. It sounded like nonsense to him. Morgan was wearing the ridiculous hat because he somehow knew that Will was interested in the magic set? Was that it? And that thing about it calling to him; he had had an odd sense of something like that…

He met Morgan’s mad hatter gaze. “How?...” he began and faltered.

Morgan swept  the Top hat off with a showman’s bow, presenting the hat to Will.

“Take it, try it on. The hat goes with the magic set”

“Oh, I see” said Will as he accepted the hat. But he didn't see at all; none of it made sense. Morgan watched his puzzled expression.

“Go on then, put it on” He coaxed.

Will did as he was told, feeling like an embarrassed schoolboy.

“Good!” said Morgan, sounding like a teacher. “It suits you, you’re a natural”

Will doubted it. He fiddled uncomfortably with the hat on his head and then removed it.

He looked very confused.

“Don’t worry. It’s just the way it works here…The toys can be very choosy! instead of you picking the toys, sometimes they pick you!”

Will looked more doubtful than ever. His eyes had rested on a huge poster just behind Morgan. It was the only poster in the shop and it was in an ornate gilt bordered frame. He could see that it was very old, possibly vintage and collectible, judging by the faded colour and the archaic style of the lettering. But it was the name that the lettering spelled  that caught his attention: MORGAN THE MAGNIFICENT! And the depiction of the fellow in the top hat looked very familiar…

------------------------------------------------------------

Needless to say old Will bought the magic set.  He was giddy as a schoolboy as he paid for it, caring little for the cost.  Morgan wrapped it lovingly in a brown paper bag, including the hat.  As he wrapped the gift Morgan talked on, explaining more about the magic set and it's provenance, then it's potency, giving a long list of previous owners all of whom had been more than pleased with it.

Will walked home with the parcel firmly under his arm, Pepe seemed to have new life breathed into him, he bounded along and cavorted like a pup.  Will too felt a spring in his step, feeling the joys of the season in his spirit, he stopped to listen to some Christmas Carollers sing their hearts out.  He also stopped at a nearby bakery, buying a selection box of cakes, a little treat for the coming week.  

It was late when Will got back home, after giving Pepe his dinner and consuming his own Will was dead beat.   He flopped onto his armchair by the fire, soon falling fast asleep and snoring like a steam train.

Pepe laid his head down on the hearth rug, staring into the fire, also ready to fall asleep.

The parcel lay unwrapped on the table, ready to be delivered tomorrow or the next day. Perhaps he should have paid more attention to Morgan in the shop, this venerable magic set did not suit being neglected in this way.  

Apart from the sound of snoring all was still, all was quiet.  The fire was warm, old Pepe yawned contentedly, his eyelids becoming heavy, still staring deeply into the merrily dancing flames.

All of a sudden a flame shot up higher than the rest, Pepe's eyes were immediately fixed on it.  The flame seemed to assume a human shape of dwarfic proportions, a playful elf complete with pointed hat and flute.  Pepe watched it dance merrily, soon joined by several others.  A fireplace full of dancing elf-flames.  Their shadows appeared on the walls of the room, like a dancing carousel of flame. A shrill, merry form of music seemed to emanate from the fireplace. 

Pepe sat bolt upright as the sound of little marching feet came from the kitchen.  Soon the cakes from the box appeared, they had grown little arms and legs and were marching in step to the elven music.  Pepe's eyes were fixed on this bizarre little procession as they marched round him,  a chocolate fondant fancy was their leader, marching out in front swinging a toothpick as his baton. A strawberry tart turned to salute Pepe, then turning again waved to the elven flames. They danced a special flame dance in a ring, then seemed to salute the strawberry tart with their flutes in reply. 

 A fat little doughnut was bringing up the rear, struggling to keep up. A moment later their resident mouse appeared, it was avidly pursuing a terrified and squealing lemon meringue.  

The cakes marched up onto the arm of the chair old Will was sleeping on.  One by one they leapt from the arm of the chair onto Will's ample stomach, using it as a trampoline to reach the other side.
 Pepe barked with delight to see the little dancing cakes bobbing through the air, but his attention was grabbed by a piece of Gouda cheese and a pickled onion who waddled past him now, between them they were carrying an open bottle of Budweiser, spilling some onto the carpet as they walked in an odd, jerky motion. They also climbed up onto the arm of the chair, then up onto Will's mountainous stomach before sticking the bottle into his mouth.  Will automatically slurped down the beer although still asleep.  

A group of little olives scampered past, frolicking and giggling with glee.  One bounced too hard on Will's big belly and landed on the other side of the room. It soon picked itself up and caught up with the rest.  

Pepe barked with enthusiasm, waking Will.  He looked around rubbing his eyes, confused to see food and an empty bottle of Budweiser scattered on the floor.  Will picked up the chocolate fondant fancy and took a bite out of it, causing Pepe to bark out in shocked alarm.  

Will stared at his canine friend in surprise, then said 'Sorry Pepe.  I forgot you liked the chocolate one.  Here have a doughnut'  

______________________________


It was midnight on Christmas Eve and although the boys were supposed to be asleep, the excitement of the next day had kept them awake.
“Do you think that we’ll get our bikes tomorrow?” whispered Drew.
“You mean later on today,” laughed Dwight. “I know we will and I hope I get that radio controlled car.”
“Ooooh!” squealed Drew. “I am so excited!”
“What do you think Uncle Will has got for us?” Dwight asked. “His parcel looked so mysterious all wrapped up in brown paper. I hope it is something special.”
As the minutes ticked by both boys’ eyes closed and all that could be heard in the bedroom was the gentle rise and fall of their breathing.

The December sun rose on Christmas morning and the birds sang to welcome its arrival. The small creatures scurried to and fro and a large owl settled down to sleep after a busy night hunting.    
Morgan woke and stretched like a cat. Today was a special day and he needed a special breakfast to celebrate it.
“Hat!” he shouted. “Bacon, egg and sausages with a heap of hot buttered toast!”
Morgan waited, and waited and waited. Nothing happened! He heard nothing moving downstairs.
He climbed out of bed and after putting on his dressing gown and slippers went down to the kitchen.
“Hat!” he repeated. “Why is my breakfast not cooked waiting for me?”
The ‘Hat’ in question sat on the sideboard, unmoving and unresponsive.
“Hat…”began Morgan. “Oh my giddy aunt…, you aren’t my hat at all are you? I’ve gone and given away the wrong hat!”
Rushing upstairs Morgan pulled on his clothes and then after running back down the stairs with his shoe laces untied ran out of the front door and up the street towards old Will’s house.

Will had just finished getting out of the bath when he heard an angry knocking at his front door. Pepe was barking furiously and Will struggled to the door, wrapped in two wet towels. Throwing the door open he found Morgan on his doorstep, looking red faced and out of breath.
“Where is my…?” spluttered Morgan. “Where have you put my…?”   
“My good man,” said Will. “Calm down you’ll give yourself a heart attack. Where have I put…what?”
“My h-h-hat!” stammered Morgan. “The one I sold you yesterday!”
“Oh, the hat with the magic box?” replied Will. “Why, I gave it to my nephews for Christmas.”  
“Their address! Quickly man! It is a matter of life and death!” screamed Morgan.
Will scratched his head. He knew where it was, but could not remember the address. “Give me a minute to throw some clothes on and I will take you there.”
As quickly as he could, Will dressed himself and upon returning to the front door found Morgan pacing to and fro, muttering angrily to himself. “How stupid can I be? Imagine mixing up hats!”
The two men ran up the road towards Maple Grove, a very salubrious area of the town. The houses here were very large and grand and rich and important men lived there. So imagine the surprise that both men felt when they saw the lights of one of the larger houses, number 22, flashing off and on. Soot coming shooting out of its chimneys and its doors and windows opening and closing. The noise coming from this house was deafening, it sounded like a demented band was playing music out of tune and off key. It was sheer bedlam!
“That is my brother’s house,” said Will.
“You don’t say,” retorted Morgan.
A large crowd of concerned neighbours had gathered outside  number 22 and were all looking very scared.
“What’s happening?” screeched one lady. “Is it burglars?”
“I think it must be ghosts,” suggested a man. “I think it is one of these demonic hauntings!”
  Morgan and Wills stepped up to the front door and prepared to enter.
“Are you ready?” asked Morgan.
“Into the valley of Death…” quoted Will.
The scene that presented itself to the two men was something out of a very bad dream, a nightmare of the first category in fact.
Dwight , Drew and their parents were huddled down in the centre of their lounge and all hell was swirling about them.
Two shiny bicycles raced circles round the room. A toy motor car drove all over the carpet. The fairy from on top of the Christmas tree danced with a very spooky looking, long nosed, toy clown. Bunches of mistletoe and holly flew around the room. The Christmas tree and room lights flashed on and off. Books and fruit marched to and fro and toy instruments had formed a little band in the corner and was playing music that could only be described as sounding like several cats being tortured.
And sitting on the mantelpiece, like a king, was a very battered looking top hat.
“Stop it, Hat!” shouted Morgan and suddenly a silence fell on the room. The bicycles, toys, instruments, mistletoe and holly collapsed on the floor and lay still.
Will helped his brother, Cyril and sister-in-law, Dorothy to their feet as the boys collected all the toys together.
“What happened?” asked Will, turning to his brother.
“We all started opening our presents and admiring each others gifts, when the boys decided to open your parcel. They took out the hat and placed it on the mantelpiece and began to open the box when…suddenly all this began happening!”
“I am very sorry, sir,” said Morgan hanging his head. “I am afraid you were the unfortunate recipients of a true magical experience.”
“Rubbish!” retorted Cyril. “Magic is just trickery. It is not real. I demand you give us a plausible explanation for this fiasco. You’ve scared my wife and children half to death!”
Morgan stepped over to where the top hat lay. He pulled another similar hat out of his pocket and exchanged it for the one on the mantelpiece. “This one is the correct one for the magic set. I just made a little mistake.”    
“I want the police!” shouted Cyril. “This man is a very clever con artist. I want him arrested!”
Morgan sighed deeply and placed his top hat on his head. “I don’t think we should involve the police, do you? It is Christmas Day and I have given you some free entertainment. Can’t we leave it like that?”
“No, I want an unsavoury type like you locked away,” ranted Will’s brother.
Will placed his hand on his brother’s arm. “Cyril, it was my fault, don’t go involving the police. It’s the time of good will to all men.”
“No!” screamed Cyril. “He has made fools of my family and I and I will not stand for that!”
Suddenly there was the sound of music in the room and a whirring noise like bird’s wings. Morgan was holding his hands above him and had his eyes closed. A sensation like being engulfed in cotton wool filled the room.
Cyril spun round to face Morgan. “Is this more of your nonsense?”
A gentle wind blew through the room and everything begun to get blurred and insubstantial. Time was resetting itself to a time before this transgression had occurred. The massive debt that had been run up was paid back in full and World’s clock began to tick again…                                                                         


“Thank you for being patient” the voice was behind him.

“Oh!” he turned – no one was there!

“Hello?” He said.

“Good boy! Good boy! What’s his name? I'm over here”

The voice had moved; Will saw that the speaker was kneeling down and rubbing Pepe behind his ears. And Pepe was letting him.

“It’s Pepe” said Will – and added “you’re privileged…Pepe doesn’t usually like strangers”

“Ah, but I’m no stranger” this sounded rather cryptic to Will.

Abruptly the sales person sprang to his feet with his hand out stretched.

“Merry Christmas, I’m Morgan, how can I help?”

Will responded to his enthusiastic handshake, all the while appraising the fellow’s oddly antiquated clothing. He had been right about that. Morgan’s attire was like a costume. But in truth, it was Will who felt out of place in his jeans and his old water proof Burberry. This fellow seemed right at home in his well-worn brown velvet suit, complete with waistcoat and a glint of silver chain that had to be a fob watch. But the hat! – That was going too far; it made him look like the mad hatter from Alice in wonderland. And the expectant steady gaze added to the impression. With an effort, Will gathered his thoughts.

“I’m interested in –“

“Ah yes, the magic set!”

“Yes, that’s right - but how did you know?”

“That’s why I’m wearing this hat. It’s the original, you know. I heard it too, calling you…”

Will had difficulty in following this. It sounded like nonsense to him. Morgan was wearing the ridiculous hat because he somehow knew that Will was interested in the magic set? Was that it? And that thing about it calling to him; he had had an odd sense of something like that…

He met Morgan’s mad hatter gaze. “How?...” he began and faltered.

Morgan swept  the Top hat off with a showman’s bow, presenting the hat to Will.

“Take it, try it on. The hat goes with the magic set”

“Oh, I see” said Will as he accepted the hat. But he didn't see at all; none of it made sense. Morgan watched his puzzled expression.

“Go on then, put it on” He coaxed.

Will did as he was told, feeling like an embarrassed schoolboy.

“Good!” said Morgan, sounding like a teacher. “It suits you, you’re a natural”

Will doubted it. He fiddled uncomfortably with the hat on his head and then removed it.

He looked very confused.

“Don’t worry. It’s just the way it works here…The toys can be very choosy! Instead of you picking the toys, sometimes they pick you!”

Will looked more doubtful than ever. His eyes had rested on a huge poster just behind Morgan. It was the only poster in the shop and it was in an ornate gilt bordered frame. He could see that it was very old, possibly vintage and collectible, judging by the faded colour and the archaic style of the lettering. But it was the name that the lettering spelled that caught his attention: MORGAN THE MAGNIFICENT! And the depiction of the fellow in the top hat looked very familiar… 
Morgan wrapped everything in brown paper and tied it up with string. Will paid the price, which he thought was a little too much to pay for a dusty old magic set, but it would please the boys and that was what mattered.
“Good day!” said Will as he stepped out the door of the shop and began to make his way home.
Suddenly he heard a shout from behind him.
“Sir! Sir! Please come back!” It was Morgan the owner of the curiosity shop.
Will stopped and the man caught up with him. Carefully Morgan unwrapped the brown paper parcel and drew the top hat out. I am so sorry, I gave you my hat instead of the one that goes with the magic set. Really stupidof me…I am so sorry.
Will started back up the road with his nephew’s present under his arm. He whistled a little tune as he went and began to imagine the boy’s faces when they opened his gift.