Tuesday 12 May 2015

Moral dilemma at Car boot sale

What would you have done? I’d rummaged through the cardboard box and spotted some older comics at the bottom. Then I saw it, the holy grail of comics: Fantastic Four number one! I had to contain my excitement. I was aware of this snotty kid trying to muscle in. I had to act fast – but I also had to play it cool.

I placed the Fantastic Four number one in the middle of a bunch of comics. The snotty kid was observing me suspiciously – or so I thought.
“How much?” I said waving the comics in my hand at the kid on the stall. He looked them over appraisingly, then glanced at the man beside him, who had just taken payment for a paperback.

“Dad?” His Dad eyed the comics in my hand. They must have been his originally, not the kids. I tried to appear casual, disinterested.

“Ah, that’s classic stuff there . . . “He reached for the comics, took them from me, started to flick through them. I thought I was undone, if he spotted that number one . . .

“That’s seven comics – call it ten pound?” Phew - He’d just been counting!
“Ten pound?” I had a fiver ready, thinking that I might even get some change. Ten pound seemed a bit expensive for a car boot sale. I had a strong urge to haggle but then I thought of the Fantastic Four number one. If only he knew.
“Okay” I said.
“Wanna bag?”
“Yeah thanks” and that was it, he handed the comics over in a polly-bag. I couldn't believe my luck. I felt like doing cartwheels!

That historic number one issue, which looked to be in good condition, was probably worth a couple of hundred pounds. Okay I admit that I felt a bit guilty but what would you have done in my place?  
I wondered around another couple of stalls, just going through the motions. My mind was on my find, my bargain of a life time! I manage to hold off looking at my new acquisitions until I was safely back at the carpark.  Sitting in my car I pulled the seven comics out of the polly-bag. There were some interesting issues there. An early Spiderman, an Avengers, a Daredevil and an Iron fist with Luke Cage, One of those team ups. All Marvel stuff but not worth much. And then there was the Fantastic Four number one. It was the only comic in a plastic sleeve. Even before I pulled it out I had a sinking sense that something was wrong. I think it was the colour and then the paper itself wasn't right, it was too light.

The cover was a colour photocopy! And inside were blank pages! I could hardly take it in. Then I saw a post it note on the first inside page. It read: Please ask to see original.
Ask to see original!  I couldn't believe it – I’d been had! Or wait a minute, had I? I couldn't be quite sure. I had a lingering doubt, maybe it was my own fault. I should have been honest with the kid’s dad. I’d experienced a whole gamut of emotions: First there was elation, tinged with guilt, then a spiralling depression which lead to a final reaction – I was mad! I was seething!
But what was I to do? Should I rush back to the stall? And then what? I suppose I could play it down. That would probably be best. Say I’d only just noticed the photocopy and the post it note, which was true enough.

I rushed back in the direction of the stall. People were passing me as they were leaving and heading for the car park. Some of the stall holders were starting to pack up. A car was starting to leave from the stall where I got the comics. I saw the Dad and the kid in the front seats and I had an insane urge to rush at the car and beat on the window. Sanity prevailed as I looked around dejectedly. I was too late.

I recognised the snotty kid as he walked past me. He was carrying a pile of comics in a cardboard box and trying to catch up with his parents, who were striding in the direction of the car park.
“Dad!” shouted the snotty kid.
“Come on, keep up Brian!” His Dad didn’t even turn his head.
The snotty kid dropped the box and fell on his knees.
“But Dad, the man gave me a box of comics for free!” The dad might have grunted.

I could see that the box contained the same assortment of comics that I’d rummaged through earlier. I was about to walk on when I noticed the corner of one comic in a plastic sleeve. It couldn’t be! But the colours looked right. It just might be . . .

The snotty kid was eyeing me morosely.

“Need a hand with the box?”  I said. The snotty kid nodded and smiled. What would you have done?


Sunday 10 May 2015

Pagliacci



  
 
Pagliacci. Clowns.  Ruggero Leoncavallo's greatest Opera. It as running for a record 20th night at the Chicago Orpheus with Pepi Grandi as the lead Tenor.  Not since the great Caruso had such crowds been seen.

Tonight however Pepi was a little subdued.  In his dressing room before the curtain lifted he had found a set of kippers.  A warning.  A threat.  Pepi would soon be sleeping with the fishes.  He had seen too much.  He knew too much. He had tried to leave the past behind him but it seemed unsuccessfully.

Pepi sang his heart out and the audience lapped it up. Many were in tears when he reached the climax of the second act.  However suddenly Pepi had to wipe the sweat from his brow.  In the presidential box the sinister figure of Dino Coulatti appeared.   Dino ran the local protection and gambling rackets, his presence here tonight was unexpected.  Dino was usually known to frequent the dog racing tracks, thinking opera pretentious nonsense.  His presence here tonight was obviously intended to agitate Pepi the clown, it succeeded. As did other familiar though unwelcome faces Pepi spotted in the crowd.  It seemed as if every criminal element in the neighbourhood were congregating here tonight in anticipation.

Out of the corner of his eye Pepi saw another sinister figure waiting in the wings.  Lieutenant Paddy Murphy.  Local poker faced cop.  Second generation Irish with unbounded enmity towards Italio-mafioso hoodlums.  Pepi clearly was to be taken into custody immediatly after the curtain dropped. Hence the sudden convergence of so many Mafioso here tonight.  They would do anything to stop Pepi squealing to the pigs.  It had all happened by accident.  Dino Coulatti's Henchmen had grabbed and killed Silky Seymour, the corrupt union official.  Pepi had been coming out of the stage door and had seen them bundle silky into a car.  Silky was never seen alive again although rumour had it he was now part of the foundations of the new railway bridge.



The climax of the opera came and Pepi received a standing ovation!

However suddenly the lights went out and the flash and bang of a shot rang out, soon followed by the screams of the audience and the wail of police sirens.  Those who had applauded Pepi now raced for the exits, their primal urge merely to save their own lives.

The police were waiting on the street in force, they arrested every face known to them.  Dino Coulatti and all of his men were handcuffed and lined up against the wall.  They saw an ambulance arrive, several minutes later a body was brought out on a stretcher obscured by a white sheet, but by the sleve and hand dangling down they saw it was a man in clown costume, it was Pepi.

Dino Coulatti looked very smug as he saw the body taken to the ambulance, the one witness against him was dead, but it was not wise to look so smug in front of Lieutenant Murphy.  Several weeks before a low level mafia operator had confessed all he knew to Murphy, after having fallen down the stairs at police HQ twenty seven times in half an hour.  The confession prevented fall twenty eight from happening.

Lieutenant Murphy walked over to the line of handcuffed men, truncheon in his hand.  He landed Coulatti a blow in the stomach that knocked him to his knees.  He did not look so smug now, but Murphy did.

Another police officer, one on the Coulatti payroll helped Dino to his feet saying 'I'm sorry Mr Coulatti, accidents will happen!'.  Murphy then waved dismissively with his hand 'Take the scum to the cells!'

Meanwhile the blood spattered body of Pepi Grandi was taken to the morgue and laid on a slab.  The fine opera singer, still dressed as a clown now lay on a cold slab, the white sheet still over him.

Lieutenant Muprhy walked in and pulled the sheet unceremoniously off him. 

A moment later the clown's eyes flickered, then opened, looking up at the Lieutenant then down at his blood splattered shirt.  Pig's blood looked real but made a terrible mess.

The Lieutenant grinned.  ''Now fatso, your testimony better be worth it, or next time..........'

The clown nodded.  Next time it would not be pig's blood.







Sunday 3 May 2015

Reflections of a Troubled Mind

Father Monsignor Dominic Gallitravati opened his eyes slowly. Never had he known as deep and satisfying a sleep as he had enjoyed during the previous night.
Now, he was about to experience a shock of major proportions. For he lay in a bed which was not his own and beheld a room about him that he had never frequented before. In short, he had no idea where he was. In fact attempting to recall where he had been the night before was just a large black hole in his memory.

He originally worked in a large library situated in the Vatican of Rome. He was a scholar of the more important works of theology held in the building. The various forbidden texts and codices were under his jurisdiction and often he was called to translate ancient texts and inscriptions.
Lately, he remembered, with regret, he had been feeling disillusioned and depressed by the whole religious bandwagon and ruefully had decided that he had followed the wrong path with his career, but was unable to do anything about it.

Looking about him he took in a large room which was tastefully decorated It had a high ceiling and large windows with dark purple drapes hanging at the side.
Directly facing the bed was a large ornate mirror. Its surround was decorated with what looked like birds and animals which encircled the glass. It was made in a dark wood which reflected a well polished sheen. A truly attractive piece of furniture.

Throwing back the sheets and covers Dominic got out of the bed. He found that apart from his shoes that stood by the bed, he was dressed in his outdoor clothes. What had he been up to, he asked himself and why had he climbed into bed with his clothes on?
The large windows allowed the sunlight to stream into the room and as Dominic made his way across to them he wondered what scene he would see through them.

Below the windows a small village sat. Dominic could see people going about their business in carts or on horseback and everything looked staid and peaceful. But where was he? The few signs that he could make out from his window looked to be written in English of which he was conversant, but had he left Italy? If he was abroad, how had he made the journey and to where?
Then a sudden thought came to him. Had he his passport? If he was abroad then that was the basic of his requirements. And what of money? Dominic rushed over to a set of drawers and upon opening them, found them all to be empty. Looking around the room he spotted a large wardrobe, but after searching it he came up with nothing except for solitary coat hangers and bits of wrapping paper.

Pulling on his shoes, Dominic made his way to the door of his room. He gingerly opened it and checked outside. A large hall stretched away from his door and He realised that he was in a hotel like building. Slowly he walked along the hall, turned and descended a set of stairs and found himself in a lobby. A large door which Dominic surmised, must lead outside was at the far end of the passage and after opening it Dominic found himself on the street. Walking a few steps down the street and looking back Dominic saw that the building that he had awakened in was called St Michael’s Challenge and the building sported a sign depicting the saint dispatching a dragon with his sword. Stranger and stranger thought Dominic.

As he made his way down the road Dominic was greeted by a salute or a nod from everyone he met. Dominic wondered if his clothes clearly showing that he was a member of the clergy explained their deference or that they were just friendly people. All the signs above the shops and at road ends were in English and he realised that the fact that he spoke the language would help his situation.

Ahead of him Dominic saw the familiar shape of a church and as he neared the building he saw on the church’s board that it was named Our Lady of Sacrifice, a Roman Catholic church, thought Dominic. Now I’ll find out where I am.
He made his way up the path and upon turning the handle on a very old studded, wooden door, pushed it open. The hinges gave a shriek and as Dominic stepped into the gloom and acclimatised his eyes he detected movement from the area before the altar. “Ciao,” said Dominic, forgetting that he was in an English speaking country.
A very old priest approached Dominic from out of the darkness and after appraising him, the old man stretched out his hand and taking Dominic’s hand, shook it vigorously. “You are an answer to my prayers!” he shouted loudly. “Now we can restore order!”
Dominic pulled his hand free from the old priest’s. “I don’t know where I am or why I am here. Please help me Father, for I am going out of my mind!”

Later as Dominic and the old man, whose name was Father Francis Benholm, sat in the church’s rectory; Dominic recounted what had happened to him. The old priest shook his head incredulously. “And you have no recollection of how you got here?” he asked.
“But, Father. Where is here?” Dominic wailed. “I have told you that I work in the Vatican and somehow I have been transported many miles from there!”
“You are in the village of Sentinel. We are in the county of Wessex in England,” said the old priest gravely. “You have come more than a thousand miles!”
Dominic was shocked and sat in silence. The questions raced through his mind. Why? How could he get back to Italy? This was a nightmare and when would it end?”

After a few minutes, Dominic broke out of his mental quandary and looked over at the old man. “You said that I was the answer to your prayers. What did you mean?”
The old priest hung his head and sat silently for a few minutes before speaking. “I learnt last week that I am dying and that I only have a few weeks to live. My duty here is very important, in fact absolutely paramount to life on this Earth.”
Dominic laughed and shaking his head replied.” Father, surely God’s message is a necessity, but as to its affect on the well being of the planet. That is why He gave us our own minds and the ability to decide morally whether an action is right or wrong. Surely that is what He requires of us?”

Father Francis reached over and selected a book from a bookshelf. Dominic could see that it was an ancient tome. The cover was made of leather and looked well used. The title was written in Latin and translated as ‘Salvation’. Francis opened the book and handed it to Dominic. “That is a map of our county,” said the old man. “You can see where Sentinel is situated, right bang in the centre.”
“And this means, what?” asked Dominic gazing down at the writing. “It translates to ‘Hell’s Mouth’, but surely not literally?”
Francis raised his eyes to the sky, “Yes, it is literal. Sentinel is the stopper that prevents Satan’s army from emerging and controlling our Earth!”

Dominic looked at the old priest and thought, he has lost his marbles. The shock of the prognosis has pushed him over the side. This is madness.
Francis looked up and saw Dominic’s face. “No,” he said. “I am not mad. This is the truth! Come with me and I will show you!”

Returning to the church, Father Francis unlocked the door and opening it allowed Dominic to enter the building. “We are to descend to the cellars of this old place and then I am sure you will see what is happening.”
The stairway down to the basement was dusty and very dirty. “No one comes down here, except for me.” explained Francis kicking a bit of broken wood out of the way.
As they descended Dominic could feel the atmosphere changing. Initially it had felt warm and musty, but now there was a claustrophobic feel and a definite falling of the temperature.
“People think that Hell is hot,” laughed Francis. “If they only knew the truth.”

Reaching the basement floor Dominic saw that large circles of different metals were inlaid into the floor. Within the circle stood a large cross that was engraved with what looked to be gold and silver. Latin and Greek words were inscribed at the edge of the metal circles and over everything hung a cloud of incense. Candles were lit around the periphery of the room and they flickered in the breeze that blew steadily through the area.
“Behold, the Well of the Damned,” whispered Francis. “The last bastion against the Evil One.”
Dominic looked about him. “And this is your role in life?” he said. “To guard a superstition? Father someone has been fooling you. This is just an example of some religious frenzy without basis. A boogie man to scare the children with!”

Suddenly as if in answer a loud crash sounded from beneath them and the candles wobbled on their supports.
Father Francis gripped Dominic’s arm. “You can’t say this. It will only make them stronger. Don’t you realise?”
Another crash sounded and the floor seemed to distort slightly. The atmosphere was freezing cold and the men could see their breath in the air.
Father Francis took his rosary beads in his hand and began to intone a prayer. Dominic looked on incredulously as once again a crash sounded, but this time the floor with the inlaid metal circles rose high in the air, before falling back into place
“Pray with me Father!” pleaded Francis. “We must calm them!”
Dominic crossed himself and began reciting a prayer for salvation. He spoke in Latin as he was used to in Rome and soon the noise from beneath the inlaid floor quietened.
Father Francis led him from the basement back to the church above. As he locked the cellar door he gave a gasp of relief. “Thank you God for your help and succour.”

Later, upon returning to the hotel where Dominic had woken up, the hotel register was checked.
“There is no one booked into the room that you describe, sir,” said the hotel manager. You say you spent last night in it?”
“Yes,” said Dominic sheepishly. “Would it be possible to book it for a few nights?”
As Dominic had no passport, Father Francis had convinced the manager that Dominic was a close friend of his and whose reputation he could verify.
Francis had also lent Dominic some clean clothes and the priest suggested that he go and have a long soak in a hot bath. They would meet up the next day and try and sort out Dominic’s return to Rome.

Dominic lay on his bed feeling much better after washing and redressing himself in the fresh clothes. As he lay he ruminated on his problem. How had he got across to Sentinel, England? To find yourself in a neighbouring town without any knowledge of how you got there was bad enough, but a country thousands of miles away – mind blowing!
His gaze went to the mirror hanging opposite the bed. It really was a beautiful piece of work with its carvings. Looking at the glass he was surprised to see that it was reflecting something other than the interior of the room.
Getting off the bed, Dominic approached the mirror and looked into its glassy interior. He started back in shock; he was looking into his room back in Rome! The bed was covered with a patchwork quilt which, his mother, God rest her soul, had given him two years ago. A large dark wardrobe in which he kept his clothes and vestments stood alongside the bed and Dominic could see the painting of ‘St Michael and all Angels’ hanging on the wall. What was going on? He turned and surveyed the room that he stood in. How had he got there?
Turning again to the mirror’s displayed image of his Italian bedroom he searched its interior. The room was dark as if the curtains were closed, but Dominic was sure that he could see the curtains held back by the ornate hooks that he used, but what was stopping the light? He squinted and by narrowing his eyes, could make out the obstruction.
For several moments Dominic just stood aghast. He felt faint and shocked at what he had seen. Unable to take it in, he staggered away and collapsed on the bed. He closed his eyes and began praying fervently. Surely not, he thought. No it can’t be.

The first explosion rocketed him out of his revery, the second had him on his feet and racing to the window. Below the hotel people were running about in panic. Their screams and cries rising in the air as they tried to escape. Smoke was pouring from the direction of the church and as it rose in the clear air it transformed into a grotesque head with horns. This was a personification of pure evil, thought Dominic. What had happened?

Emerging from his hotel Dominic instantly ran in the direction of the church of ‘Our Lady of Sacrifice’. He felt sure that was where the disruption was happening. Terrified people, displaced from their homes, fled by him. More explosions sounded and Dominic was shocked to see a creature that looked, for all intents and purposes, like a great spider, race round the corner of a building ahead. Its multilensed eyes swivelled this way and that, picking targets to release their venomous poison which they spurted out of mandibles on either side of their heads.
Dominic turned and saw what the beast had fixated on; it was a little boy, who stood crying. He had run off or had been forgotten by his parents. Dominic ran across and picked the boy up, just dodging the poisonous cloud of liquid that struck the road where the boy had stood.
“Let’s get you back to someone who can look after you,” said Dominic as he made his way towards the church. By now the streets were filling with more and more of the spiders, as well as snake like serpents which snapped at the passing escaping people.
Just as Dominic approached the corner of the street where ‘Our Lady of Sacrifice’ was situated a weeping lady rushed up and plucked the little boy from Dominic uttering cries of thanks for his bravery.
“Take him somewhere away from the church!” shouted Dominic. “You must get as far away as possible!”

As the woman ran off with the boy Dominic turned the corner and was horrified at what was occurring.
Dense black and yellow smoke poured from the church. Creatures of all types, most unknown to man, were rushing out onto the street. Dead bodies lay all about the front of the church and Dominic could see some of the spiders feeding on their flesh.
Dominic carefully made his way up the street staying in the shadows in an attempt to avoid being noticed. Then he saw the body of someone whom he knew. It was Francis!
The priest was lying amidst puddles of blood. Dominic could see a sizeable wound on the back of his head, which he assumed was where the blood had come from.
“Francis,” said Dominic as he picked up the priest. “Francis, are you alright?”
As he spoke, Francis’ eyes opened and as he recognised Dominic, he smiled. “Seems like they have escaped. They must have been monitoring my strength and had detected the cancer. They just waited until they thought that I was my weakest, to break free.”
“What can I do?” asked Dominic.
“You must do what you were sent to do- return these hellish creatures back to their abode and close up the rift!” hissed Francis, his eyes suddenly blazing. “There is no time to lose!”

Dominic stood up and looked about him. The smoke from the church was getting thicker and more and more creatures were emerging.
“But what can I do?” repeated Dominic feeling suddenly very vulnerable.
Francis looked up at him and once again smiled. “You have the key within your head. All you have to do is use it.”

Dominic closed his eyes searching for ‘the key’ that Francis had stated he possessed. All at once he saw pictures in his mind of all the literature that he had had to read while in Rome. The forbidden grimoires and the black codices. All the information from these esoteric tomes was in his brain and all he had to do was use it.
Pulling Francis over to the side of the street he made sure that the priest was safe before he turned again towards the door of ‘Our Lady of Sacrifice’. As he made his way across the road he heard Francis shout, “Go with God Dominic!”

Suddenly words in Latin and Greek were pouring from Dominic’s mouth. He raised his arms and made the sign of the Cross as he approached the entrance to the church, smiting spiders, serpents and other things with his power. The creatures in his wake lay where they had been struck and slowly began melting, their foul ichor running into the gutters and drains.
Once he entered the main building the words that issued from him changed and the language changed to that of the Sumerians. The pitch blackness that had existed within was suddenly lit with a shining globe that radiated and coruscated driving the evil that existed out and back to its origin.
Soon Dominic stood in the cellar and saw the broken floor with the bent and mangled circles of metal lying broken. Now he pointed with his right hand and shook his left in defiance. Once again his speech changed and now ancient Sanskrit could be heard echoing around the chamber. Slowly the floor of the basement began to repair itself. Bricks rearranged themselves and affixed themselves together. A loud groaning could be heard as the great metal circles began to reorient themselves and move slowly back into position. Dominic continued with his diatribe until only a very small gap existed in the now reformed floor. Just as the last bricks began to move towards their final resting places the head of the most loathsome creature Dominic had ever seen emerged from the gap. It was like a large slug with a massive head and as it opened its maw slime and stinking liquid poured onto the ground. Slowly it was breaking through the relaid floor. Dominic was suddenly struck dumb and could only look on in terror as the creature rose from the rent in the floor.

“Dominic!” a voice shouted from behind him. “Throw this at it!” It was Francis. He had struggled into the church and reaching up handed Dominic a small bottle.
“What is it?” screamed Dominic.
“Never mind!” the priest shouted. “Throw it!”
Dominic had been an excellent bowler when he had played cricket at the theological college where he had studied and been ordained. Now all his muscle came into play as he lobbed the bottle towards the monstrosity. It sailed through the air and broke against the blue grey skin of the creature. Seconds later with an unholy screech, it suddenly dissolved and vanished through the hole.
“Now!” shouted Francis triumphantly. “Close it!”
Once again Dominic felt information flow down from some higher centre in his memory and his mouth opened and words, verbs, adjectives and adverbs from a past time flowed from it. The mighty globe of light that had hung lighting up the attempted escape of Hell’s minions fell as if commanded by Dominic and vanished into the closing hole and a cataclysmic explosion sounded from deep down below and flame rushed through fusing the rent shut. – It was over!

Dominic turned to speak to Francis. The priest had collapsed onto the floor and he was panting from the exertion of entering the church.
Dominic fell onto his knees and cradled Francis’ head. “We did it, Francis. We did it!” But the priest looked white and he grimaced as the pain from his head wound stung.
“Yes, we did it but I am afraid it has done for me too. Would you grant a dying man one request, please?”
Dominic looked down sadly at his friend, “Of course Father…anything.”
“Would you stay as priest for ‘Our Lady of Sacrifice’ until another incumbent can be found who has the natural talents to keep Hell at bay?”
Dominic took Francis’ hand in his and said quietly, “Or I could stay here as the permanent priest. I don’t think I will be returning to Rome.”
“But why?” asked Francis. “God brought you here for a purpose, a very important purpose and now you have done what was asked of you why should you not be returned?”
“Because Father, I had lost my faith in the weeks before I was brought here and had come to a decision. A decision which probably was the reason I was brought here. I felt I had lost my way and that nothing could help me.”
“But, you have a career back there, a vocation,” said Francis. “Surely you can forgive yourself, God can.”
Then Dominic told the priest of his final hours before being transported to Sentinel, the deep doubts that he had and finally an inability to go on, and that he had seen his mortal remains hanging from a hook in the corner of his room in Rome.

“I will remain here and look after the people of Sentinel and try to atone for my terrible sin,” said Dominic quietly as Francis closed his eyes for the final time and like the mist at dawn – slipped silently away.




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Cairniehill

Arbroath 26.04.15