The Cigarette Lighter

Archie lingered in front of Jean’s antique shop window as he delved into his inside jacket pocket for his cigarettes. He got a king size B&H to his lip, but discovered that he had no matches.

In the shop window Jean was arranging items for display. She carefully placed three lighter in the centre of the window.  One was brass and the other two looked like silver. ‘Allrighty’ thought Archie, with his ‘fag’ now tucked behind his ear. ‘This needs checking out!’
He entered the shop with high hopes but before he could get to the window display he was blocked by two rather stout ladies.

“Excuse me ladies” He began in his best polite voice. There was no response whatsoever.
“Excuse me, ladies - please!” He repeated. Still no response! He tried again:
“Excuse me” He was losing patience. “Pleeease, I just need to look in the window!”

They were either deaf or just simply ignoring him. Ignorant old biddies!
Damn It! He cursed inwardly; the lighters were so near yet tantalisingly out of reach.
Someone outside stopped to peered in at the window display. And wouldn’t you know it, it was another old biddy! She caught his eye with a knowing look. He recognised the wrinkled face - Ma Gum! That wasn’t her real name off course, Ma Gum was just what he called her. It definitely wasn’t a name of affection.
She smiled at him through the glass, her face crinkled like old leather round the eyes. Was she winking at him?  He cringed inside.
Ma Gum moved on her way and just then Archie spotted a slight gap between the ladies, a chink in the barrier! He grabbed his chance and, squeezing past the ladies, ducked forward eagerly to snatch up the brass lighter. Yes, thought Archie, clutching his ‘prize’, no doubt about it; the lighters were vintage, the real McCoy. He had struck gold!
Then Archie’s hopes were dashed as he heard a familiar voice:
“Jean, those lighters in the window . . . “
The raspy tones were unmistakable: Ma Gum! She’d come into the shop. How had he missed the ‘tinkle’ of the doorbell?
“I’ll take all three of them” She said.
Archie was seized with an insane urge to shout out. Stop! The lighters were his! She was too late! This wasn’t fair!
Ma Gum turned her head and regarded him with beady-bird eyes; it was as if she had read his mind. Then she did it; she winked at him! No doubt this time. Archie wanted to throttle the old bat!
As Jean approached the stout ladies parted for her. For her they parted! If only they had done that for him a moment earlier. . .
Jean picked up the silver lighters and regarded Archie.

“Sorry, that’s been sold” she said, putting out her hand like a school teacher confiscating contraband. Archie clenched his fist tight, stubborn as a kid holding on to precious sweets.  And then, as they exchanged glances, something strange happened; the lighter began to heat up!
“Ahh!” gasped Archie, dropping the burning-hot object and shaking his hand.
Jean calmly bent to retrieve the fallen lighter, and looked up at Archie with suspicion in her eyes. She thinks I’m a nutter, Archie thought as he watched her turn and walk back to Ma Gum.
He inspected his hand in disbelief; it appeared to be fine, no heat blisters, nothing, not even a red flush – except the one on his face!
The shop door tinkled. Ma Gum marched past the window, swinging her bulky shopping bag as if on a mission. ‘God, she doesn’t hang about!’ thought Archie.
He had decided to keep tabs on the old bird but resisted the urge to immediately take off after her.  He set off at a leisurely pace and was surprised at how far ahead Ma Gum was. He had to hurry after her.
Archie shadowed Ma Gum all that afternoon as she trailed in and out of old antique shops, plus one or two charity shops.  He was impressed with Ma Gum’s stamina; his legs weren’t up to so much walking. Tiredness made him careless but fortunately Ma Gum seemed strangely oblivious. She was in a world of her own, thought Archie. After a while he noticed her routine; she would slow down at the shop windows and linger. Archie realised that she wasn’t really looking in the window. She had a faraway expression as if lost in thought. Every so often she would get a look in her eyes - Archie thought of it as her eureka look- then she would enter the shop and come out shortly looking pleased with herself and Archie could see that her bag was filling up.
Eventually, to Archie’s great relief, Ma Gum completed her shopping spree. Thank goodness, thought Archie. Maybe now he could find out where she lived. But he still had a way to go. She continued beetling ahead. She must live miles away, thought Archie. They were virtually into the country side now. Just as Archie thought that he couldn’t go on, Ma Gum stopped at a gate with a wooden stile. As Archie rested to catch his breath, Ma Gum crossed the stile with surprising swiftness. A moment later Archie clambered after her, gasping, but determined to keep up. He wondered about her fitness; it didn’t seem natural . . . and where on earth were they going, out here, in the middle of nowhere . . .
Archie ran on, staggering and tripping over tree roots in an effort to catch up with Ma Gum, who was steadily retreating deeper into the woods. He no longer cared about being spotted. The old bat would have to be blind not to see him now – and yet she still paid him no notice.
Up ahead there was a clearing. Ma Gum moved to the middle of it and started to wave her arms and gyrate like some old performing diva. She’s finally flipped out, thought Archie. She was singing but it was awful wailing gibberish to his ears. Then he realised this was some sort of chant or invocation.  The air seemed to shimmer. She grew silent and stood still, as if waiting. And as she was reaching into her bag Ma Gum looked directly at Archie across the clearing. She held his gaze for an instant, amusement in her eyes. There was something in her hand. Then she winked and was gone! Vanished into thin air! The air shimmered brightly for an instant longer and a small object flew out and hit the ground with a soft thud! This seemed strangely loud in the silent clearing.
Archie stood staring where the object had fallen. A metallic glint of light revealed were it lay. Even though he couldn’t see the object clearly he knew exactly what it was. When he picked it up it was very warm but not burning hot.
Archie rolled his calloused thumb across the flint wheel. The flint rasped and a flame sparked into life. He drew deeply on his B&H king-size and puffed a plume of smoke into the air. Ahh, that’s better, he thought, as he sat with his back against a tree. He’d needed a smoke badly. Maybe the day wasn’t a total loss after all.

With each inhalation and exhalation of smoke he ruminated on the weird events of the day. It was his Zen breathing meditation. His mind was filled with questions. Deep breath, Question: what the hell was going on with Ma Gum? Breath out, question: who was Ma Gum? Question: what had happened to Ma Gum? Where had she disappeared to? Deep breath, question: what was Ma Gum? Not what she appeared to be, that was for sure. His mind boggled at the possibilities. The questions buzzed around his head like bees being fumigated. And what about the business with the antiques?  He examined the brass lighter again. It was a beauty and definitely vintage, although he couldn’t quite place it. There was a design engraved in the brass, badly faded, which suggested it was pretty ancient. And why had Ma Gum ‘given’ him the lighter? It made no sense and yet everything seemed to point to the lighter.

When Archie arrived home, he got out his magnifying glass and examined the surface of the lighter.

He could just about make out ‘Sic transit gloria mundi – 1917’…whatever that meant! He pulled down some encyclopaedias and after searching through most of the pages found that the phrase meant ‘Thus passes the glory of the world – 1917’.

Archie reckoned it had been a World War 1 soldier’s cigarette lighter, judging by the date. But what a strange thing to have inscribed and why would Ma Gum be interested in it?

Next morning Archie got up early and set out to find the elusive Ma Gum. Surely somebody would know where she stayed.

All at once, as if by magic, a postman appeared pedalling a bicycle furiously  up the street.

“Hey mate!” shouted Archie. “Stop for a mo’. I need some information.”

The red faced postie pulled up alongside Archie. He seemed glad to stop and pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket to wipe his brow.

“What can I help you with me old pal?” he grunted amongst wheezes.

“You know the old girl, Ma Gum?” Archie asked.

“Should do,” replied the postman. “Just delivered a couple parcels to the old trout.”

“So where’s her place? Is it far away?”

“Nah, just along that road,” he said pointing behind him. “And second on the right. You can’t miss it; it looks like a spook house in the funfair!”

Archie could see what the mailman was talking about as he approached Ma Gum’s abode. It would have done the Adam’s family proud. Mock turrets graced the roof and the windows looked as if they hadn’t been washed since Adam was a boy. Walking up to the heavily studded front door Archie pulled down on a chain that hung to the right of the door.

“Clang! Clang! Clang!” went a bell deep inside the house. It had been loud enough to waken the dead, but as the echoes died away a strange eerie silence engulfed the building again and Archie wondered whether he should pull the chain again.

All at once the huge doors gave a loud screech and opened. Archie found himself looking down a long dark hall. The floor was covered with leaves that had blown in and what with the large cobwebs that hung from the ceiling, the overall impression that Archie got was one of total neglect and he shivered as he made his way down the passageway.

Archie stopped at the first door he came to. He had tried calling out but the echoes went on for so long after, it exacerbated the feeling of being alone and created a very creepy atmosphere.

With a push from Archie the door swung open to reveal a large, very empty room that looked as if it had entertained a large bonfire in the not too distant past. A large black stain covered the floor and Archie could smell the stench of burning.

Walking into the room, Archie looked all about him. It had been a very handsome room before the fire, but now soot hung from the cornices and blackened the windows.

Archie was just about to leave the room and look elsewhere for Ma Gum, when he noticed that the air above the blackened area had stared to shimmer. He remembered when he had seen this phenomenon before and realised something untoward was about to happen!

With an almighty crash a large touring caravan materialised in the room, on the blackened spot. It looked as dirty and soot covered as the room and Archie could see steam coming off the surfaces. What the hell was this, he thought. He had seen some strange things in his life, but this took the biscuit. Where had it come from….the Astral Plain?

“Oh my bones!” came a groan as the caravan door opened. Out of it emerged a very bedraggled looking Ma Gum. “That last trip really took it out of me; I need a good cup of tea.”

The lady had been chatting happily to herself when she suddenly realised that she wasn’t alone.

“What are you doing here? She demanded. “You’re trespassing!”

Archie smiled bravely and holding out the cigarette lighter said, “It’s your fault, you dropped this and I thought that I would try and return it to you.”

The old dame suddenly realised who Archie was and she collapsed onto the floor, laughing like a drain.

“I remember you, I saw you in Ander’s Antiques yesterday. I stopped you getting that brass lighter..ha!ha!ha!”

Archie felt his feathers had been ruffled. “You didn’t need to burn my hand!” he said petulantly.

“Ach, well, it was just a bit of mischief, but it proved to me that you are just the person I need. You proved that you had a true affinity for that item.”

“What are you going on about, you old twit,” grunted Archie. “Just take this lighter back and I’ll be on my way!”

“Now then, Archie,” said the old woman. “Is that any way to talk to a lady?”

By this time Archie had reached the door and was about to leave.

“I don’t know what that gizmo is,” he said pointing at the cooling caravan. “But whatever it is I don’t want to know, so just leave me to get on with my life!”

Ma Gum smiled to herself and turned away from Archie.

“Well Archie, I never took you for a coward. I’m offering you a chance that many men would sell their souls for.”

Archie stopped half in and half out of the door. Being called a coward was the ultimate insult and he had to know what the old harridan was on about, so he came back in to the room.

Archie took a closer look at the caravan while Ma Gum put on the kettle for a cup of tea. The caravan was huge and all about its walls it had pieces of silverware embedded. A candelabrum here, a dish there. They seemed to be moulded into the structure of the caravan. Several silver coins glinted as Archie passed and a large punch bowl protruded from the caravan’s surface. What the hell has the old biddy been up to, thought Archie? And why had it suddenly appeared looking hot and steamy? Where had it come from?”

“Ah, “said Ma Gum, re-entering the room carrying two mugs of tea. “I can see you’re intrigued with my new ‘toy’.”

“What is it?” asked Archie, taking a mug from Ma Gum. “It looks like you’ve melted various items into the walls. What is the reason for that?”

“First,” said the old woman. “I must ask you a question. Do you believe that time travel is possible?”

Archie looked into Ma Gum’s eyes. Was she mad? Had she finally decided to let go of reality and embrace fantasy. Archie knew that the local populace knew her as a witch and treated her with a degree of suspicion, but time travel? That was straight out of science fiction rather than gothic horror.

“I suppose it is possible…” said Archie unsure of where the conversation was going. “You’re telling me that this,” he said pointing at the ‘caravan’ “Is a time machine?”

“Exactly!” screamed the old woman, dropping her tea cup and running across to the caravan. “That is exactly what it is!”

Ma Gum began to explain to Archie, why she had constructed the time machine. She had used her crucible to extract silver from a piece ore and after it had cooled had held it in her hand. At the same moment, she had inadvertently been thinking of a spell that she had been practising endlessly, without success. How the spell related to moving from one place to another, unseen. Annoyed with her inability to get the spell to work, she had spoken the spell out loud and had found herself several miles away. Afraid of being stuck there she had instantly visualised her house, uttered the spell again and been transported---home!

“The common factor was the piece of new silver that I had been holding,” she said.

“So that was why you vanished from my sight after dropping the brass lighter,” said Archie. “You were using the spell.”

After experimenting with the silver and the spell, Ma Gum found that she could only move within a few hours of time, but thought that if she obtained pieces of silver from other ages it would allow her to travel to and from these periods of time. When Archie had followed her she had been collecting these pieces of silver from various antique shops.

“I used a spell for dowsing that allowed me to instantly know when a shop contained a piece I required. I mistakenly thought the cigarette lighters were all silver and that is why I bought them, from right under your nose,” she laughed. “The dowsing spell must have influenced the brass lighter and gave you the impression of burning your hand.”

“So?” asked Archie. “Did it work?”

Ma Gum’s eyes lit up. “Yes it did, but I was still limited by the amount of time I could spend in that past time. I could only hold so many items of silver and it only gave me a few hours. Then I thought of embedding silverware from the specific time that I wished to visit, in the walls of a receptacle that I could travel within.”

“So you picked a touring caravan,” said Archie ruefully.

“Yes, I could then travel to the time period and remain there for the duration of the visit, in relative comfort.”

“Ok,” said Archie. “And what had you decided was my part in your master plan?”

The old lady smiled to herself and turned away. She walked over to the time machine and opening the door entered. Two minutes later she returned holding a photograph which she handed to Archie.

“I want you to return to the year of 1914, to right a terrible wrong, Archie. “But wont that create a, what do you call it…... a paradox which will change the future, my present?”

Ma Gumm looked into his face and Archie could see that she was crying.

“Yes, it could, but it has to be done.”

 

The Sweet Factory

 

There once lived a 12-year-old boy called Jim. He wasn’t a normal boy in school but neither were his parents; well his dad wasn’t. His mum died when he was only young. His dad was a dentist and a very strict one too.

 

It was Halloween, so Jim designed a costume. He was dressed as a doctor. He was a few hours out before he came home with his bag full of sweets. His dad immediately leapt from his seat and swiftly ran over to Jim and said “what do you have there boy?” Jim replied “a few sweets dad”. His dad snatched the bag off Jim and threw it in the fire. Jim cried a little and stormed up stairs.

 

He started to invent something new. He had a good mind but his inventions never worked. But this time he had a feeling about this one. He was going to design a secret sweet machine so he could……… have all the sweets in the world.

 

Little Jim started to collect the parts and pieces for his magical sweet machine. He was clanking and hammering all night then early the next morning he was finished. It was fantastic but he still didn’t know if it worked. He slowly bent down and grabbed the plug then with a worried face he ever so slowly trotted over to the socket and pushed the plug inside. He flicked the switch and heard the sweet machine fire up. As quick as a bullet he sprinted over to the machine and was so hypnotised in amazement that he fainted.

 

He was quickly woken up by the sound of the ice cream man outside but why would he need him, he had a sweet machine. He designed the machine to be voice activated. Jim asked for a packet of Walker crisps but the sweet machine replied, “Need fuel”. Then Jim remembered that he had to put a sweet into the machine to start it off. He slowly hopped downstairs and got a gobstopper from the ice cream man for two pence and inserted it into the machine.

 

The machine was brighter than before so he knew something had worked. He asked again “can I have some Walker crisps please”.

The machine replied “please hold” and the machine started clanking away. A minute later came Jim’s Walker crisps.

Jim was so amazed by his invention he forgot he had school and…. homework. He sprang up from his hands and knees like a tensioned Slinky. He got dressed and sprinted to school, as he was already 10 minutes late. His first class was science and his teacher was miss Trunchbull who was the strictest teacher of all time. When he arrived at class finally, his fellow classmates and miss Trunchbull turned to face Jim. His face turned like a tomato as the teacher bellowed, “Where have you been Jim”?

Jim replied, “school bus was late miss”.

Miss Trunchbull then said” was it now? Well how did everyone else make it to class?” Jim said nothing then sat down.

 

 It was time to go home. Jim trotted down the road with no expression on his face. He was home finally and exhausted from his journey from school. He laboured upstairs too see his sweet machine. Jim watched TV for a bit and fell asleep. As he was sleeping he had the most brilliant dream. He dreamt about owning and managing his very own sweet factory. He soon woke up and thought about his dream. He was going to design his very own sweet factory. He worked on the design for weeks and began collecting different parts and pieces to duplicate his old sweet machine. He had built sweet machine NO.2 and made six more so all together he had 8 .His dad was asleep so he ran to the abandoned house across the street and he transported his machines in a wheelbarrow. He started to rebuild what was once a house. It took weeks for him to rebuild his new found factory. His dad wasn’t worried since he snuck back in his house every day and every night for school. He invited over two of his very few friends to experience his work on the factory. The two friends were astounded at his factory. They were ages with Jim one was called Jake and the other Sam. They were also smarty pants Jake was interested in the same things as Jim but not Sam he took a interest in fictional things. Jim’s factory was taking shape now. Two months on and the factory was complete. Each machine had two dispensers attached to it Jim was now 13

 

..............to be continued