The Changeover
I spotted her straight away, sitting on a bench in the town square. She stood out - like she didn't belong; the afternoon lunch crowd were rushing around and she was just sitting calmly. She had long straight black hair. Not usually my type. I preferred blondes. I couldn't quite see her face as she was stooped over and doing something. She would be pretty, I imagined. I usually did that with long haired girls; I gave them the benefit of doubt - if you know what I mean. she wore a green jacket and faded blue jeans but there was an oddness about her clothes; I'm not big on fashion or anything but her clothes seemed sort of old fashioned for a young girl. Something about the cut of the jacket and the jeans looked like sixties bell-bottoms.
She looked up as I crossed the street- looked straight at me and smiled. I was right, she was pretty. In fact she was a stunner! I almost bumped into this old guy who wasn't looking where he was going.
I smiled. She giggled as I muttered an apology to the old grump. I dodged past another rushing pedestrian and made it to the safety of the bench - phew! I sat down and was about to say good morning when I noticed she was focussing on the thing in her lap. For a moment I felt disappointed; as if I’d been blanked - but then she turned; showed me this beautiful paper swan, cupped in her hands like an offering.
"Would you like it?" she said in a hushed library voice. I was taken aback.
"Err...." I hesitated. "are you sure?" My voice sounded too loud.
"Yes" she said. "I make lots of them. It helps me relax. You can have this one."
She didn't look as if she needed to relax. She had that dreamy faraway look. Kinda spacey, if you know what I mean.
"Well - if you're su-"
"There" she said, delicately placing the paper swan in my hand. "It’s yours." Her fingers were darkly stained, like a printer’s.
"Thanks..." For a moment I didn't know what else to say. There was a silence but it was not uncomfortable, strangely. I held the swan up in the palm of my hand to look at it. Sunlight caught the white paper; making it glow with an inner life. In the warm breeze the swan almost took flight from my hand.
We laughed together, like daft kids.
“It’s brilliant. “ I said.
“Glad you like it.”
“You are very talented. Are you an artist?” She did that hair twisting thing that some girls do with long hair.
“Not really...” she twisted some more and went red in the face.
“I learned it at - “She stopped.” I learned it ...I like to make things."
“I like making things too - but I don't think i could make anything like that out of paper." I paused and for some reason blurted out."Actaully, I used to be a cabinet maker. "
"oh - don't you make them any more? " She asked with a look of concern.
“No - I was made redundant " She paused, considering the word. “Redun - dant? "
“Yeah! we were all paid off "
"Oh!" She said. A change of subject was needed. I fidgeted with the paper swan - not sure what to do with it now. I carefully placed it in the breast pocket of my jacket. That would do for now. "What about you? Are you on holiday?...Visiting?"
"No, not exactly...Well I suppose you could say I'm visiting."
“We don't get many visitors around here. There's not much to see really...some people come to see the old church, but not very often."
“Oh I love churches- don't you?.....I expect I’ll visit the church. Is it near? Could i walk?" She looked about as if hopping to spot the church right there on the high street.
“Yeah, it's walk-able, if you like a good walk.” Most of the lunch time crowd had gone; sucked back into their buildings. There were a couple of uniformed characters heading down the street towards us. At first i thought they were traffic wardens but realised they were something else when the girl eyed them and seemed to take fright. She touched me on the arm; actually tugged my jacket sleeve.
“can we go now? Would you take me?” She stood up and turned to go. Not looking at the two uniformed men.
" eh-hold on, it's this way." I turned towards the approaching uniformed men.
"Oh!" She looked scared.
“What’s the rush?" I said. She stared at me; It was not a wordless stare - It was as if we had a bond, a psychic link.
“Ok." I ignored the uniformed men now, though I was aware of them getting nearer.
“How about a coffee first?" I said, indicating the cafe over the road: The Copper Kettle. The uniformed men were very near now, looking right at us. She still held my gaze, nodded and grabbed my arm.
We walked into the cafe and took a booth seat. She sat with her back to the window. I saw the uniformed men look in as they passed. We were the only customers.
" I think you should tell me what's going on? " I said.
" Yes, I suppose i should."
Then, as if unexpectedly, “can I take your order?” said a young waitress, cute, short black hair with a red flash through it. She sounded fed up,……. bored, glum.
“Errrr…two coffees please, no no, make that one, and a tea” I stumbled. She left and returned smartish, placing them gently in front of us.
“Ok, you ready to tell me then?” She was nervous, glancing over her shoulder at the door and window. Who could possibly be after her and…why?
“It’s not safe here, not here, have you anywhere?” she whispered. “Somewhere we can go?”
“My flat, I have my flat”, I was almost pleading, sad really. But it had been a while, an age…. i’d been single for so long. I could smell her perfume, it reminded me of something, a familiar scent.
She was gorgeous, maybe I could glean more than her story from her, my mind was wandering, it didn’t feel healthy. I took a gulp and we left, hers was untouched and my wallet was lighter….for nothing it felt.
We headed along the High Street, then East into Edmonds Lane
We were hurrying along when she thrust something cold and dense into my hand. She huddled close but said nothing. I didn’t look but I knew, I just knew, it was a gun, a real one with real bullets….”oh shit I thought, what the fuck…..what the fuck is she into?” I slipped it gently into my coat. We felt safe now, we’d left the guards back there, not far now.
My flat, my retreat, was run down, in a run down building on a run down street but hey, it was mine and it was safe and secure. A couple of glances around, before we entered the building. At last, it was dry and we were soaked. What was going on in my life today, a girl, a gun, a fucking mystery???
“Ok, let’s get dried off, I’ll find you something to put on,” as I pulled a long shirt from my wardrobe. She was huddled up on my sofa, half naked now, i could smell her and she was so so gorgeous.
My flat was basic, nothing fancy here, i didn’t need it, i was a basic guy. Clicking on the convector i threw her a towel. I placed the gun on the table, gently, guns were beyond me..…she dried her hair. I could’ve sat and watched her……watched her for hours.
We were drying off and the cuppa I’d made went down well, “ok, so what’s happening?” I asked, quite firmly this time. I sat closer, close enough to smell her again, wonderful!
She sighed and started “The guards, remember the guards?, they were Museum guards”
“Looking for you?” I asked.
“They were, yes, I was there last night, at the Museum I mean.” “ That’s when it happened.”
She began to cry, something had really got to her, i cuddled closer and inhaled. She responded, arms around me, we kissed, gently and softly. “Wow” I thought, “is this for real?” “ happening to me……..?”
We stripped each other, slowly, so slowly, it was passion but controlled passion. Her scent, her taste, it was to die for….and I was dying….
The sofa set the scene, the floor, the rug and ended in bed, starting softly and slowly, building and building, we both explored……
It went a bit crazy then and blurry, it was so heated, full on everything and she knew it all. Knew how to please for hours and hours…..and she was pleasing me…..
I exploded into the small hours again and again as she did. We made love, crazy stranger love but i felt i knew her, i knew her scent, it was warm and close to home but it drove me insane.
Light was breaking through as we slept, closely in each others arms, exhausted, glowing and drained,…i was drained.
I had awoken gently, “what a dream, oh fucking god, what a dream!!”
As I turned for her, she was gone……., she’d left,…… when, how,…… i had to find her, i knew i had to find her.
She’d left the gun, that fucking gun, the shirt she wore lay there too……
She’d left her scent, all over,
I could smell her, i could still smell her……………
The door suddenly flew open and the two Museum guards rushed into the room.
“Grab him!” shouted the burlier of the two.
I was wrestled to the floor and heard the metallic click as handcuffs were attached to my wrists.
“What the bloody hell is this all about?” I shouted angrily, rolling over onto my back.
The smaller of the two men was examining the gun. He emptied the bullets out into his hand.
“Four live and one spent round!” he spat. “Your lady friend almost knocked my head off with it!”
“I don’t know who you are speaking about.” I retorted. “This is my flat and you have no right to be in it!”
The other man kicked me in the stomach so hard it knocked the air out of my lungs.
“You should learn some manners…..boy!”
I was thrown into a chair and Tweedledum and Tweedledee, as I thought of them as, sat on my couch and began to mutter.
“The bitch got clean away. We never had a chance to get the map!”
My ears pricked up. A map. Was this what it was all about?
“Hey!” I shouted. “How about a glass of water? I’m dying of thirst!”
The big man, Tweedledee, got up and gripping my chin bent my head back.
“When you tell us where your sweetheart has gone, then we will give you some water.”
“I don’t know!” I shouted. “She left this morning and I don’t know where she went!”
Tweedledee who seemed to be the one with the brains began a good cop/ bad cop routine.
“Come on son,” he said. “All we want to know is where she went and we will get out of your life.”
I thought rapidly, the girl had said something about going to see the church that I had mentioned. The church was an 11th century structure which had been burnt down two times and rebuilt. The brasses were fine examples of the period and the stained glass windows equally worth seeing. Could she have gone there?
“I think she mentioned something about a n old graveyard on the other side of town,” I said putting as much incredulity in my voice as I could. “I don’t know what she would want there, it’s been closed off for about fifty years.”
Well, the two guards jumped to their feet.
“That’s it!” shouted Tweedledum clapping his hands.
“Yes, it would fit in with the location of the resting place……” Tweedledee looked over at me suspiciously. “You wouldn’t be pissing us about boy? Would you?”
“Do I look like a masochist?” I replied.
Tweedledum yanked me to my feet.
“Lead the way MacDuff!” he said with a laugh.
“Well you’ll have to take off these bloody handcuffs or I aint going anywhere!” I wasn’t being intimidated by these Neanderthals.
“Ok..boy!” said Tweedledee. “But I’ll be covering you with this!” He waved the gun in my face.
I walked ahead of the two guards. The streetlights were casting a yellowish glow on the road and our shadows danced grotesquely on the walls of the houses we passed.
I could hear the pair wittering away about maps, spades and my lady friend.
The old Victorian cemetery looked really creepy as we approached. An owl hooted mournfully and I tried to think how to ditch these two idiots and get back to where I thought the girl would be – the church!
Suddenly a large lorry roared round the corner and we were all bathed in its full headlight beams. I took a chance and rolled over into the ditch that ran along the side of the road. Quickly I scrabbled along the dry bed. I had to put some distance between myself and the guards.
A shot rang out and I ducked as the bullet whined overhead. I knew the gun only had four more bullets and I felt sure they would not want to waste them.
After a good hundred yards I raised my head to see if I could detect any movement. The road was empty and I took a chance and climbing out of the ditch began to leg it back into town.
As I neared the old church I began to imagine things. Was that the guards hiding in the doorway? Had the real police been called? I calmed myself and crept up the church path. It looked dark in the church but the girl may well be hiding. I turned the handle of the oak door and with a creak the door swung open.
“Are you here?” I shouted the sound echoing round the building. “Tell me you are here!”
After the echoes had died away the sepulchral silence returned and I realised that I had been wrong.
Then, a hand slipped round covering my mouth and a voice hissed,
“Keep quiet! They’ll hear you!”
Slowly turning round, I was again looking into the face of my mystery girl.
________________
`You! I exclaimed. You had better tell me what the hell is going on. I’ve been attacked by two idiots in my home, had to throw myself into a ditch to escape them and to top it all off I was shot at.`
`Never mind all that. She hissed, have you the swan?`
`What, what the hell are you talking about?`I was nearly killed and all you can think of is a piece of folded paper.`
`The swan give it too me! Just give me the swan.`
Fumbling in my jacket pocket I pulled out the crumpled piece of origami.
`Thank be praised.` She muttered under her breath.
She held out her milky almost transparent hand and I placed the paper bird on the palm. It appeared almost semi- opaque under the moonlight, not papery at all, a strange perplexing glow began to emanate from it and as I observed the wings began to flutter. Quite faint at first, then faster and faster until the paper ailerons began to beat.
`What the fu…`
`Silence! She interrupted, the metamorphosis is almost complete. Soon, very soon it will guide us to the Teleo.`
`To the what? For god sake you have some explaining to do.
`To the Gods, an explanation will be given my son.`I think first though there is much I need to tell you.`
As she looked at me I felt no fear, no unrest, I actually felt relaxed considering what I had just witnessed.
`My name is Leda daughter of the Aetolian King Thestius, mother of Helen, Castor and of course you my beautiful son, Pollux.`
`O nice one. I replied. You’re my mother. Brilliant as if I don’t have enough shit going on, without some crazy bitch turning up out of the blue insisting she’s my MUM. Yeah well right, if you don’t stop this madness I just may be forced to commit matricide on YOU mummy dearest.
`Do you remember your childhood?` Her words soothed over me.
`No as a matter of fact I don’t. I was raised in an orphanage until I was 7 then went on a tour of several foster families, all of which were complete and utter psychos.`
`No my son you never fitted in, how could you with these mortals, you are not one of them you are a god. Son of Leda and dare I say his name Zeus.`
`O this just gets better and better, first you tell me you’re the daughter of some deceased Greek king, that you’re my mother and my father is Zeus the head fucking honcho up there on Olympus. Fantastic, brilliant, so in that case then I’m a prince. Prince fucked up, yep that’s me.`
`ENOUGH OF THIS FILPPANCY.` she screamed. You ARE my son and Zeus's. You are Pollux the divine.`
OK, ok, I exclaimed! If you’re my mum what the fuck did we do there back in my flat?
For an instant the reality of what she was saying flashed through my frazzled mind. Jesus, I thought. I’ve just had sex with my mother.
`Nothing happened back in your flat she replied, I enchanted you in order to gain your affections, how else could I have gained your trust. I could not have possibly told you the truth at our initial meeting. The aroma you were aware of was a bewitching potion concocted from the flower of Popomdea a powerful drug which produces hallucinations of amorous intention.
`OK, ok, can we just take a step back a second, I mean it’s not everyday you get told that your father is a god. By the way, I mean, I don’t want to appear rude but didn’t Zeus rape Leda.`
With a snarl she whipped her head back and began to recite a poem that I vaguely remembered as a child.
A sudden blow: the great wings beating still
Above the staggering girl, her thighs caressed
By the dark webs, her nape caught in his bill,
He holds her helpless breast upon his breast.
How can those terrified vague fingers push
The feathered glory from her loosening thighs?
And how can body, laid in that white rush,
But feel the strange heart beating where it lies?
A shudder in the loins engenders there
The broken wall, the burning roof and tower
And Agamemnon dead.
Being so caught up,
So mastered by the brute blood of the air
Did she put on his knowledge with his power
Before the indifferent beak could let her drop?
`Yes he did, hence the reason you are here. Hence the reason I have finally sought you out. This world as we perceive it does not exist, this is his manufactured world, a world where humanity is moulded into his ideal. A world of universal depression. Man appears to have lost his hope, he is bereft of all expression of thought, a universal darkness. Gloom is predominant, joy has passed away, consumed by a plague of evil which Zeus created and that is why we must find the Teleo his source of power here on earth and destroy it forever.`
__________
I hope you can understand how I felt to be told all this.........it could not have sounded any weirder, any less likely.
What the hell was she talking about? I stopped to think for a moment. What did I know? Forget the whirring swan and the poem, (which could have come from a corny TV programme) what did I know? What EXACTLY did I know?
What the hell was she talking about? I stopped to think for a moment. What did I know? Forget the whirring swan and the poem, (which could have come from a corny TV programme) what did I know? What EXACTLY did I know?
When I first met her she was sitting on the crowded square................just to attract my attention? I could have walked past easily, she could have been chatted up by anyone! I didn't buy that one, she was looking for anyone to stop and speak to her.
Back at my home we didn't have sex? Instead she enchanted me! What the....?!?
The two museum guards were perhaps immortal beings sent by a Greek god to prevent us finding the 'Teleo'? Those two smelly scum bags? One of them had a beer belly. They said some weird things about spades and maps and a resting place, but that could have meant anything.
As for myself I sure didn't feel like a Greek god, having been cuffed and manhandled by those two bloody great apes. Could I fly or walk through walls? Could I see into people's minds or bend them to my will? Hell no! I didn't feel any more divine than the next guy!
The two guards had overstepped the mark however, they needed a warrant to start ferreting around my place, I knew that. What sort of museum guards roughed people up in their own homes? And what sort of Museum guards knew about handguns? Plus their people skills left a lot to be desired, they seemed more like cops!
As for the swan, she could have switched that with something up her sleeve, a mechanical toy!
There was another explanation, so obvious it stood staring me in the face. She was an escaped lunatic. A nutter. A psycho. The two guards were from the asylum trying to take her back and into her padded cell. Or even the cops on the look out for an escaped nutter. And it was a simpler explanation than what she had said.
I had a very unbelievable story from her and a more simple, logical solution from myself. So who was I to believe? She was much less friendly than when I first met her. In fact she was acting a bit psycho now!
For the moment I thought the best way to play it would be to string her along. I suggested we break into the old church, it didn't look like it would have an alarm, better in there than out here! It was raining now, black rain, almost otherworldly rain. It seemed heavier, more malevolent than normal rain. Besides the swan guide seemed to say that the Teleo was in this church!
We forced the door into the old church, finding it remarkably insecure.
Inside was a plaque with the history of the place. This was St Elmo's Church, the patron saint of Sailors and the provider of St Elmo's fire! There was also a mentioned of Castor and Pollux here, the ancient patrons of sailors and the provider of the ethereal fire, until St Elmo got the job! That was interesting, very interesting. Was it just a co-incidence or mysteriously linked? Did she pick this church to give credence to her elaborate story?
There was a statue of St Elmo near the High Altar..............and it did look a little like me. Maybe a bit older though!
There were other statues too. So where was the Teleo? ‘Leda’ seemed happy now that I *appeared* to believe her wild tale. She said that the statues in this Roman Catholic church were based on older representations of the Greek gods, Mary was Hera, Christ Pantocrator was Zeus Pantocrator and so on.
She soon pointed to a statue on the far wall, the Teleo was inside it! It was an ugly looking brute, who did this represent? Perhaps the devil.
Leda confirmed that indeed it was Hades, king of the underworld, now known as the devil. The Teleo was inside! She pointed and waited in anticipation.
It was then I looked around for something to smash this statue up and get out the offending object, whatever the hell it was. I ripped apart one of the wooden pews and got a hefty piece of wood.
I struck the statue several times with my new club until it fell backwards and shattered into a hundred pieces on the floor!
Of course it was still bloody dark so I couldn’t see much, but ‘Leda’ let out a cry of triumph and picked up something from the ground. It seemed to shimmer even in the dark, incandescent by the streaks of moonlight shining through the stained glass window. ‘Leda’ let out a cry of triumph that filled the air! ‘We have done it!’ she exclaimed again and again.
I tried to appear enthusiastic also, but all I had achieved was breaking into an old church and smashing up an old statue! I felt more like a vandal than a Greek god!
Now more than moonlight filled the old church, I could hear a siren and saw the flash blue light of a cop car through the stained glass windows!
Leda murmured something about taking flight, we would meet up tomorrow in town or in Elysium! I agreed and legged it eagerly out the back. Not quick enough. I felt the ugly mitts of a cop on my collar, wrestling me to the ground. Fat porker!
The room then filled with cops, where there was one pig there was a herd! I screamed and kicked, but it was no use.
Two of them I recognised. I guess those museum guards could have been cops after all! Fancy that. I guess there was nothing for it now but to face the music.
‘And so my Lord and members of the jury rests the case for the defence in this matter of burglary, criminal damage and aiding a known felon in her escape! My client had no idea that the woman known to him as 'Leda' was wanted in connection with the disappearance of several hitch-hikers, who she told her doctor were transported to Elysium to become Greek gods, or that the two museum guards were undercover police officers. He willingly offers to make financial restitution for the church door and for the statue if all other charges will be dropped!'
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