I put on a brave face. I’m not showing I’m frightened. I came on the bus. That was enough. Mad driver looked like a Crocodile. It was 15p to get there mum gave me that plus dinner money the night before. Sunday night. I hate Sunday nights, Songs of Praise followed by a bath; I hate the bath all that washing. Saturday night now there’s a night, in between Friday and Sunday. You feel safe on A Saturday. Not like a Sunday.
Some kid is kicking a ball around, a piece of leather with little bits of string hanging from it. A great big grey wood Pigeon. I used to think they were owls when you heard them in the trees. Wonder where I’ll go for dinner. But that’s ages yet. There’s plenty of shops, little corner shops, funny how even when they’re not on corners their called corner shops. I wonder if they sell bacon rolls? Mum makes bacon rolls. She gets rolls from the man next door he works in a bakery. He comes home in the middle of the night, mum says he gets drunk and leaves the rolls at our door. Mum says he nice when he’s sober. I’ve only saw him once. Mum says he fell down a hole when he was drunk and died.
There are cars drawing up, big cars, wish we had a car but mum says we can’t afford one. So I have to get the bus. Mum was crying when we went to get the uniform my blazer was too big but I don’t think that’s why she was crying, I think she didn’t have enough money, but she never said. Auntie Joyce was there I think she gave her some. Wish I could help more. The trees look fuzzy; I never noticed the trees at first but they must have been there for ages. Big trees. Hope my teachers are nice. Don’t want to get in trouble first day. I remember mum saying if I got in trouble she wouldn’t be happy. Chris is here, he came in his dad’s car, lucky Chris. He asked me where I was going for dinner; I told him it was ages yet. The bell rings I don’t know where to go neither does Chris. We just look around, he looks white but I don’t say anything. A teacher came out and shouted, it sounded muffled. He pointed to us and said this way. We ended up in a huge gym hall. Sit down the teacher said. They’re wearing cloaks, big black cloaks, they look like Batman. I laugh, I think Chris thinks they look like Batman too. I hope I’m in Chris’s class. Silence the teacher shouts. We go quiet; he reads out names not my name. Not yet. Mum said I’ve got to listen carefully so I don’t make a mistake. I listen hard. Mum had cancer once and she said she didn’t want to hear what the doctor had to say, funny that, she wants me to listen but she didn’t want to listen to him. Gran and Granddad had to look after me for two weeks when mum went into hospital. I like it at Gran and Granddad’s, Gran makes soup and rice pudding. I was there for two weeks, Granddad said mum was getting better and I could go home soon. Granddad smokes little white fags all the time. He says it keeps him going, I’m not going to smoke, I like the smell but it makes your fingers go brown and sticky. Granddad`s fingers are brown and sticky. I think Gran moans at him for smoking but I don’t think he cares.
Granddad doesn’t care about anything. When dad died he said that he didn’t care what the government thought he said his son was murdered. Dad was a soldier in the army, so he couldn’t have been murdered like Granddad said. I think mum misses him; I hear her crying in bed at night. I sometimes cry for him but not in front of mum. When we went to the funeral the man said that my dad was a true patriot. I didn't know what a patriot was so I asked Granddad after and he said that my dad was a hero. Cool! my dad the hero. I think granddad had been crying because he kept looking away from me, but he laughed when I asked him if he wanted his fags. There were sausage rolls and sandwiches at the funeral and my auntie Joyce got drunk and started crying. Auntie Joyce always got drunk and started crying but this time it was different she was really crying. My cousin Louis was cuddling her and saying everything will be fine, but she just kept on crying. Mum said that dad would have been proud of me. Wonder how I didn’t want to be a soldier. Mum said he loved me very much. I like that.
The teacher calls my name I’m not in Chris’s class. Mum said I would meet lots of new friends. Hope so. The teacher tells us that when our name is called to go into little groups. There are three boys in my group laughing I think they’re laughing at my blazer. One of them calls me a reject, and says I got my blazer from charity. I say I didn’t mum bought me it in town. He laughs and the others laugh. A teacher tells us to follow him we go to a classroom. He says his name’s Mr Quinn and he won’t stand for any nonsense. The three boys are behind me and they laugh, I don’t laugh mum says she wouldn’t be happy if I got into trouble. The teacher tells us that he is our English teacher and gives us a jotter. He says we are to take it home and cover it with wallpaper and put our names on it. The bell rings and Mr Quinn tells us we can go for lunch and when the bell rings again we must line up outside and he would come to get us. The three boys come over to me in the playground the one who kept laughing tells me I smell and hits me in the face with a football. I feel tears welling up inside me but I don’t want to cry for him. Chris is standing outside the shed and I run over. I tell him what happened. Mum said that if anybody hits me I’ve got to tell the teacher but I don’t want to tell. Chris is shivering I think he’s scared. I was scared when dad died but not sure why. Mum said that was OK for me to scared but I wanted to be brave for mum, gran and granddad. I ask Chris if he’s scared but he just shakes his head. I ask Chris if he wants to go for dinner, he says yes. There’s a corner shop across from the playground.
The man smiles at us I ask him if he has any bacon rolls he says yes but it will be a few minutes. There’s a pay phone by the window. I wonder if I should call mum to tell her I’m alright, she will be worried but I only have 20p left and I need a drink. Chris buys chips and puts tomato sauce on them I don’t like Tomato sauce. The man tells me my roll is ready, I bite into the bacon and shut my eyes the taste makes me think of mum. Mum tells me I’m her special soldier. I’m not telling Chris that, it’s my secret, me and mum’s.
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