Bla, bla, bla, do you ever stop complaining,
Not fkn likely, I'm aching with this training.
Was I wise to appoint her my personal fitness coach,
The lengths I'll stretch to lose the Fat Lad brooch.
Lettuce, cabbage, eat your greens,
This shitty regime is truly obscene.
No more kebabs, McD's or chips,
Strain those arms, let's see those rips.
Bend clean over, touch your toes,
One more strain and I'll let one go!
Lettuce, cabbage, eat your greens,
This shitty regime is truly obscene.
Shorts and t shirt, trainers on,
Oh fkn god, a four mile run.
I have to stop, I've got a crippling stitch,
She's pushing me too hard, the bitch!
Lettuce, cabbage, eat your greens,
This shitty regime is truly obscene.
The agitation now, I have to smoke,
Loose the fags or I'm gonna croak.
A litre of Vodka please, I crave a nip,
She hid my booze, this fkn fitness trip!
Lettuce, cabbage, eat your greens,
This shitty regime is truly obscene.
I had a go, yes I made a start,
The pain, the pain, the pain and farts!
She pushed and pushed, through the gates of Hell,
Produced a short, fat guy who smells!
Lettuce, cabbage, eat your greens,
This shitty regime is truly obscene.
I'm through with it, now I've had enough,
Where's my fkn fags, cough cough.
Lack of liquor, oh what a nightmare test,
The pain, the dark, Cardiac arrest!!
Lettuce, cabbage, eat your greens,
That shitty regime was truly obscene!!!
That was good stuff. More power to your elbow bigboy!
ReplyDeletevery funny...reads like it's based on personal experience!
ReplyDelete